This form does not yet contain any fields.

     ABOUT ME

    song creator, inspirational writer/speaker, good food cooker, lipstick wearer… a girl from the projects who decided NOT to settle. I'm a believer- in God, in dreams, in love, and in hustle with heart. find out more about me here.

     


    WORK WITH ME

     

    SHOP


    JOIN MY ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP


     SPEAKING

     

    GENTLE REMINDERS ON INSTAGRAM

     

    RESOURCES


     AS SEEN IN

     

     


     


    Blog Index
    The journal that this archive was targeting has been deleted. Please update your configuration.
    Navigation

     

     

    Thursday
    Jul052012

    How to Keep Moving Forward Without Losing Friends {(Revamped)} 

    I received great feedback on my latest NakeiaTV episode and blog about friendship.

    Most adults don’t spend much time talking or thinking about friendship.  We have spouses, children, careers, and all sorts of other things to be concerned about.  In fact, most of the feedback I received was related to ways to make new friends and how to get rid of old friends.

    I shared 3 key points concerning friendship here and today I decided to share a few more. Be sure to visit the original post to get caught up on the first 3 points.

    Set the criteria.  By now you know that I am a fan of systems or a specific way to go about doing something.  After breaking off a 20 year old friendship, I found that there were some things that I absolutely needed in a friend, and some things that I would no longer tolerate.  That is when I set my friend criteria.  There is a new standard that I uphold in my relationships and I maintain them by staying true to those standards.  Set your own criteria.  Create a list of friendship standards that are important to you and uphold them---even with old friends.

    Be a good friend.  I have found that the most effective way to get something is to give it.  If you have genuine people in your corner, they will not hold you to a higher standard than they hold themselves.  Good friends will help you raise the friendship bar.  To determine if you are being a good friend, complete a personal good friend assessment.  Review your friend criteria and put a check next to each standard that you fulfill as a friend. If you answer yes to every standard by which you are judging your friends, pat yourself on the back.  If you could not say yes, I think it’s time to raise your own bar.

    Me and one of my best friends and biggest supporters (my sister) being silly at a photo shoot

    Consider the season.  In the video, told you that some friends are only meant to be in your life for a season or a specific period of time.  When their time is up, don’t be sad---be grateful.  I believe that my 20 year old friendship ended because the seasons in our lives had changed.  Unfortunately, I tried to hang on to that friendship a few seasons to long.  Consider the fact that some friends are placed in your life to add a specific value or the other way around.  Once the value has been added, it may very well be time to move on.

    If you have been struggling in your friendships, and want to be in intentional friendships from this point on, adding the 6 strategic approaches is the perfect start.

     

    Keep the comments coming!!  This time, join the discussion by commenting below.  Many people can benefit from your feedback.

    What new approach will you take in your friendships? Can you consider yourself a good friend?

     

    Until next time Loves…when in doubt, simply do what makes sense!

    Monday
    Jul022012

    How Do I Keep Moving Forward Without Losing My Friends?

    Today, on Nakeia TV, I answer a question about friendships---specifically---how to handle old friendships when the positive life changes that occur in your life pushes you into a new direction.

    This question comes from Dawn, who I met at a networking event in Atlanta.

    Dawn writes I've been doing a lot of work on myself over the past few years. I have a new career, new house, and a new outlook on life---but the same old friends. I love my friends and they have been very supportive of me during some very difficult times.  But it seems as if we are in different places in our lives at this point. How do I keep moving forward without losing my friends?

    You will not find me hanging out with the girls.  But you may catch me on the phone, for hours, chatting it up with a friend from time to time.  That's just my kind of friend I am.  On the contrary my best friend and I may go weeks without speaking and then connect as if no time has passed.

    That is friendship for you.  No two pair of friends are alike.  However, I do think there are some key points about friendships that are universal.

    If you can personally relate to my story of losing a friend or Dawn’s struggle to move forward, here is your approach:
     

    • Be a serial friend~er.  
    • Examine the value.
    • Welcome new friendships.   

     

    I want to know what you think. So, join the discussion in the comments below.

    Are you and your friends growing apart?  How are you handling it? Do you have great friendships?  How have you maintained them?

    I would love to answer your questions on the next episode of NakeiaTV.  Just shoot me an email and your question may be answered next. I shared the specific action steps I offered Dawn in this week's Free Newsletter.  So, sign up for the newsletter today!

     

    Until next time Loves...when in doubt, simply do what makes sense!

    Friday
    Jun292012

    No Room For Maybe

    Have you been thinking that maybe it’s time for a change?

    Have you thought to yourself, maybe I should go back to school or maybe it’s time to finally work on that book idea?

    Well, change is good.  I am just not too sure that you will be experiencing change any time soon and here’s why.

    Before you can experience real change in your life, you must feel a sense of conviction.  One of my favorite quotes concerning change is…

     people don’t change because of what they know, they change because of how they feel.

    … I am not sure who said it, but it’s true.

    When you truly feel convinced that it is time for change, there is no room for maybe.  The word maybe means neither yes nor no.  Every time you place the word maybe in front of an opportunity for real change, you are actually placing a question mark by it and suspending it.  Instead of moving closer to your goals you are postponing them---hanging them in the balance.

    If you want to experience real change by finally saying yes to your dreams and fulfilling your goals, here is your approach:

    Say yes! Instead of saying neither yes nor no to changing your life, say certainly.  Certainly means yes. Convince yourself that it is time to change your life by saying yes--- first!  That change in your vocabulary will spark a change in your thinking.

    Feel it.  The reason you want to make a change in the first place is because you are no longer content with the way things are now.  Discontent doesn’t feel good, does it? I want you to feel that discontent one last time, and then imagine just how good change is going to feel.

    Do it now.  Leave no room for maybe. Don’t postpone it.  Don’t question it.  This change is probably a long time coming anyway.  You have talked about it.  You have thought about it. You have even imagined what it would feel like.  Now it’s time to do it.

    Maybe has taken up enough space in your life. It’s time to finally say yes to your dreams and experience some real change in your life.  Leave no room for maybe.

     

    Join the discussion! How has maybe been holding you back? What will you finally say yes to? Leave your answers in the comments below.

     

    Until next time Loves...when in doubt, simply do what makes sense!