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    song creator, inspirational writer/speaker, good food cooker, lipstick wearer… a girl from the projects who decided NOT to settle. I'm a believer- in God, in dreams, in love, and in hustle with heart. find out more about me here.

     


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    Monday
    Aug132012

    3 Things You Can Do When You Feel Lost

    This week on Nakeia TV, I answer a question that comes from Amy who is a stay-at-home mom. 

    Amy has three children and she is completely devoted to them, but sometimes she feels as though she has lost her true self.  She believes there is more to her than just being a mom and wants to know how she can continue being the best mom that she can be---and be the best Amy that she can be. She no longer wants to feel the guilt of wanting more for her life.

    Specifically, Amy asks:

    What do you do when you feel lost in your own life? 

    As you know, I only answer the questions that I can relate to the most and can offer the simplest and most effective approach for. So this is another question that knew would be important to address.

    I can totally relate to Amy.  I am a mother of two, a wife, and an entrepreneur.  All of those roles keep me so busy that sometimes I forget about the role that started it all---being Nakeia. There are days when I am literally living out all 4 roles---ALL AT THE SAME TIME. 

    If you are feeling lost and want to find your way back to being at your best, here is your approach:

     

    • Carve out some me time.  
    • Create a me list.
    • Make the connection. 

     

    Trying this approach will not only benefit you but it will benefit your family and your business.  When you are at your best, you offer your best to others.

    I shared this video and this article, in its entirety, in my FREE Newsletter this week.  I also shared exclusive updates and a personal note from me to the subscribers.  If you want a copy of my FREE Newsletter you can subscribe right here.

    If you are a wife, mother, and/or and entrepreneur, I want to hear from you.  Join me in the comment section below.  I am sure that you can relate to Amy.  Perhaps you have some advice of your own to share.

    If you like this video as well as the others do me a favor and subscribe to Nakeia TV here.  Also, share this approach with someone that you know could use it.

    Until next time Loves…when in doubt, simply do what makes sense!

     

    Thursday
    Aug092012

    My Most Favorite Life Lesson.

    I learned one of my most favorite life lessons almost 10 years ago.  I share that lesson every chance I get.  Just this week, I had the opportunity to speak to a group of work-at-home moms. When I finished speaking, there was a line of women waiting to speak to me.  I thought to myself, great---that lesson obviously impacted the crowd. After greeting the first few women, I realized that my lesson wasn't the only thing making an impact---so was this:

    Here's what I shared:

    I have a loving, giving, low-maintenance husband. He would literally do anything for me…really…ANYTHING! He only had one request when I asked him what he expected of me in marriage. He only expected me to cook. He loves to eat good home-cooking. There was only one other thing attached to that request. He also needed me to be able to cook his favorite dish…macaroni and cheese. Not just any ole’ Mac & Cheese. Baked Mac & Cheese done southern style; with lots of cheese, milk and…you know what I’m talking about…soul food! Well this should have been easy for me. After all, my grandmother, Ms. Mae, is the queen of soul food. She is a caterer. Ask anyone in South Jersey about Ms. Mae and they will tell you she makes the best baked chicken, roast beef with gravy, green beans, candied yams, and of course her coveted Mac & Cheese! Not only had I watched her cook all of my life, but I had to help her prepare for all kinds of banquets. I came into our marriage with my mind, body, soul, and Ms. Mae’s secret recipes! 

    Anyway, once we were married and it was time for me to prepare my first real meal. I went for the gold and put Mac & Cheese on the menu! I had all of the ingredients (which shall remain nameless because I have been sworn to secrecy) in the pan and in the oven. What came out of the oven was NOT Ms. Mae’s Mac & Cheese. To this day I don’t know where I went wrong! I prepared it the way I had seen it done for years. My husband ate it anyway and never complained. I knew better! It wasn’t right! I had a new mission to complete. I set out to make the best Mac & Cheese he had ever eaten! When the next Sunday came around I was ready! I had conference calls with my grandmother all week. I purchased the brands she recommended, and prepared another batch. 40 minutes later, Mac & Cheese was on the table. It was ok, but it wasn’t Ms. Mae’s Mac & Cheese. Once again my husband ate it. Still I knew better. I called my grandmother to tell her the news and she said you probably didn’t put enough love in itThat is when I had an epiphany! It wasn’t lack of love, attention to detail, or even the brands I used. It was ME---that is what was missing! I had been trying to make Ms. Mae’s Mac & Cheese. Other family members have tried for years to make it and never succeeded. Was it her love,ingredients, or her experienced hands? I am not sure.

    So, another Sunday was approaching and I was determined to make the best Mac & Cheese my husband had ever eaten! I went out and purchased some the things my grandmother told me to use and added a few things of my own. I put the ingredients in the pan and into the oven. What came out was Nakeia’s Mac & Cheese. Of course my husband ate it and this time he spoke! He said now that’s some gooood Mac & Cheese

    Isn’t it just like life to teach us a lesson through Mac & Cheese? Too often we try to do things the way someone else has done it. It seems reasonable. Why reinvent the wheel…right? Well I say this. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel…discover new ways to maximize its capacity. To compare yourself to someone else is to limit yourself to their abilities.

    I want you to develop your stride…that is to always advance with your maximum competence. You will never realize your strengths if you rely on the strengths of someone else. My Mac & Cheese is not Ms. Mae’s. I am ok with that. Now, when ever there is a family dinner and my grandmother can not make her Mac & Cheese, Nakeia’s Mac & Cheese is in high demand!

    If you have been experiencing difficulty developing your stride, here is your approach:

    Be authentic.  Start with what you do well and build from there.  It is okay to find a mentor, as a matter of fact, I highly recommend it.  But once your mentor creates the foundation, start building your self up.

    Be persistent.  To be persistent is to move forward even when it isn't easy or doesn't come natural.  If you keep at it, you will get it right.

    Be confident. You are good enough, strong enough, creative enough, and more than enough. When faced with difficulty in the past, you push past it.  If you did it before, be confident that you can do it again.

     

    Join the discussion in the comments below. What task are you currently trying to master? Is there someone that you have been comparing yourself to? Do you make great Mac & Cheese? I want to hear from you.

     

    Until next time Loves...when in doubt, simply do what makes sense!

    Tuesday
    Aug072012

    Super Passion Heros

    I am a very passionate person---there's no denying it.

    When I start a project, I will stay up for days to complete it.   When I offer to help someone, I will not rest until they are helped.  When I find something new and exciting, I will not stop reading and researching until I know everything about it.

    Now let me clear things up, I am no Super Passion Hero, there have been some things---things that really matter---that I totally screw up. I am passionate about my spin class---and---super passionate about eating.  I am super passionate about keeping a clean house---and--- just as passionate about avoiding this one messy drawer in my kitchen. Don't judge me.

    When it comes down to doing the things that matter the most, it is easy to get off track---especially when you are passionate about many things in life ( including the things that aren't that good for you.) It is easy to engage in certain activities that don't give you the results you desire for the sake of being busy.

    You must be systematic about staying focused on what matters if I want to experience the joy of fulfilling your passions.

    To all of my Super Passion Heros I want you to ask yourself this question:

    Is what I am doing right now on my list of things that matter most?

    If being multi-passionate is leading you away from the things that matter most, here is your approach:


    Review your intentions. No matter how many things you are passionate about, at the end of the day it all has to make sense. Your actions toward your passions should be intentional. Review your intentions or your reasons why you are doing what you are doing and ask yourself is this serving its purpose. Reviewing your intentions will keep you aligned with your purpose and focused on what matters.

    Develop hand written or typed and printed action steps. Creating actions steps, writing them down, and then crossing them off as they are completed, is the key to staying focused. You must have a plan, in the form of step-by-step actions. Hand writing it or typing and printing it will serve as accountability. As you complete a step you can cross it off. This simple strategy will keep you so focused on what matters, you won’t have time to be distracted.

    Ask the necessary questions. Before you act ask the question does this matter. I know you are passionate about many things---and---I know you are good at it all. But it's time to go from being good to being great.  It is impossible to be great at everything, at the same time! Master your passions one by one.  You can only do that if you focus on what matters the most.
     
    Do me a favor, join the discussion in the comments below.  Are all of your passions pulling you in every direction? Are you having trouble staying focused? I want to hear from you.

    Until next time Loves...when in doubt, simply do what makes sense!