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    song creator, inspirational writer/speaker, good food cooker, lipstick wearer… a girl from the projects who decided NOT to settle. I'm a believer- in God, in dreams, in love, and in hustle with heart. find out more about me here.

     


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    Monday
    Jul022012

    How Do I Keep Moving Forward Without Losing My Friends?

    Today, on Nakeia TV, I answer a question about friendships---specifically---how to handle old friendships when the positive life changes that occur in your life pushes you into a new direction.

    This question comes from Dawn, who I met at a networking event in Atlanta.

    Dawn writes I've been doing a lot of work on myself over the past few years. I have a new career, new house, and a new outlook on life---but the same old friends. I love my friends and they have been very supportive of me during some very difficult times.  But it seems as if we are in different places in our lives at this point. How do I keep moving forward without losing my friends?

    You will not find me hanging out with the girls.  But you may catch me on the phone, for hours, chatting it up with a friend from time to time.  That's just my kind of friend I am.  On the contrary my best friend and I may go weeks without speaking and then connect as if no time has passed.

    That is friendship for you.  No two pair of friends are alike.  However, I do think there are some key points about friendships that are universal.

    If you can personally relate to my story of losing a friend or Dawn’s struggle to move forward, here is your approach:
     

    • Be a serial friend~er.  
    • Examine the value.
    • Welcome new friendships.   

     

    I want to know what you think. So, join the discussion in the comments below.

    Are you and your friends growing apart?  How are you handling it? Do you have great friendships?  How have you maintained them?

    I would love to answer your questions on the next episode of NakeiaTV.  Just shoot me an email and your question may be answered next. I shared the specific action steps I offered Dawn in this week's Free Newsletter.  So, sign up for the newsletter today!

     

    Until next time Loves...when in doubt, simply do what makes sense!

    Friday
    Jun292012

    No Room For Maybe

    Have you been thinking that maybe it’s time for a change?

    Have you thought to yourself, maybe I should go back to school or maybe it’s time to finally work on that book idea?

    Well, change is good.  I am just not too sure that you will be experiencing change any time soon and here’s why.

    Before you can experience real change in your life, you must feel a sense of conviction.  One of my favorite quotes concerning change is…

     people don’t change because of what they know, they change because of how they feel.

    … I am not sure who said it, but it’s true.

    When you truly feel convinced that it is time for change, there is no room for maybe.  The word maybe means neither yes nor no.  Every time you place the word maybe in front of an opportunity for real change, you are actually placing a question mark by it and suspending it.  Instead of moving closer to your goals you are postponing them---hanging them in the balance.

    If you want to experience real change by finally saying yes to your dreams and fulfilling your goals, here is your approach:

    Say yes! Instead of saying neither yes nor no to changing your life, say certainly.  Certainly means yes. Convince yourself that it is time to change your life by saying yes--- first!  That change in your vocabulary will spark a change in your thinking.

    Feel it.  The reason you want to make a change in the first place is because you are no longer content with the way things are now.  Discontent doesn’t feel good, does it? I want you to feel that discontent one last time, and then imagine just how good change is going to feel.

    Do it now.  Leave no room for maybe. Don’t postpone it.  Don’t question it.  This change is probably a long time coming anyway.  You have talked about it.  You have thought about it. You have even imagined what it would feel like.  Now it’s time to do it.

    Maybe has taken up enough space in your life. It’s time to finally say yes to your dreams and experience some real change in your life.  Leave no room for maybe.

     

    Join the discussion! How has maybe been holding you back? What will you finally say yes to? Leave your answers in the comments below.

     

    Until next time Loves...when in doubt, simply do what makes sense!

    Wednesday
    Jun272012

    Lies You Tell Yourself

    Let’s be honest. You lie to yourself all the time---specifically about why you don’t have the life you really want.

    I know that’s a very strong statement, but since I want you to be FREE to live the life you want and deserve, I thought it be best if I told you the TRUTH.

    When you say the following, you are lying to yourself:

    I can’t_______________.

    ____________ is the reason I don’t have what I want.

    I don’t have time to _______________.

    It’s too late for me to ______________________.

    I have told every one of those lies to myself at one point, or a few others, in my life.  I was especially fond of the I can’t lie. 

    I can’t move forward.   I can’t forgive.  I can’t afford it.  I can’t wait.  I can’t put myself out there.  I can’t figure it out.  I can’t … I can’t … I CAN’T!!

    Lies. Lies. LIES!!  I could have.  I just chose not to.

    I can’t is a lie.  I won’t is the truth.

    Someone/something is the reason I don’t have what I want.  I blame others for my own choice is the truth.

    I don’t have time is a lie.  I waste time is the truth.

    It’s too late for me is a lie.  I have given up is the truth.

    If you are ready to be free to live the life you want, combat those lies with this approach:

    You can.  That is what you must tell yourself when you are hit with the I can’t lie.  You absolutely can.  So stop saying you can’t and be honest about the fact that you chose not to---and then choose to.  You owe it to yourself to do what need to do so that you can enjoy the things you want.

    Own it.  Take 100% responsibility for what happens in your life.  You may not be able to control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you prepare for it and how you react to it.  Own your choices in life.  If you can’t live with the choices you have already made, make new choices that you can live with.

    Make time.  This is by far the most common lie.  Every day you are given the gift of 24hours--- how you appreciate that gift will make a huge difference in your life.  Be more responsible with your time.  When you want something, you make it happen.  When you don’t you make excuses.

    Don’t give up.  If you are alive today, you have another chance to get it right.  It is not too late.  Later is better than never!

    You owe yourself the truth. Don’t be deceived by the excuses that are holding you back. 

    The truth is you are more than capable of doing what is necessary to create the life you want.  You have gifts and specific skills that will usher opportunity into your life.  All you really need to do is combat the lies you tell yourself with truth and intentional action.

    **Bonus** I have designed specific exercises that will help you combat those lies.  For more information, email me details about the lie that has been holding you back at info@nakeiachomer.com.

    Join the discussion! What lie have you been telling yourself?  How will you combat it?

     

    Until next time Loves… when in doubt, simply do what makes since!