Search


This form does not yet contain any fields.

     

     

     

    Resources


     


    Blog Index
    The journal that this archive was targeting has been deleted. Please update your configuration.
    Navigation

     

    Monday
    Dec152014

    If You're Not OK, Say So (Crying Doesn't Make You Weak.)

    She said, how are you doing…really?

    That was all it took for me to release what seemed like every tear I had in my body.  They must have been stored away somewhere; because I had no idea where they came from and I couldn’t make them stop.

    I don’t know why I’m crying, I said through gasps and shallow breaths.

    You can cry. You don’t have to be strong.

    I heard her, but I didn’t believe her.  I thought yes, yes I do. I have to be strong.  If I’m not strong, that means I’m weak. I can’t be weak. I don’t have time to be weak.  But I felt so weak.

    I’m a mother. Mothers can’t be weak.

    I’m a wife. Wives can’t be weak. 

    But I felt so freaking weak.

    I listened for a while, gained control of my tears, wiped my face, took a few deep breaths, and went on with my day. Just. Like. That.

    I don’t know… confessing my weakness and unleashing my tears made me feel a little lighter that day.

    -Weak (An excerpt from my upcoming book, I Hope This Helps)

     

     

    My family didn’t fall apart. My life was still intact. The world didn’t come to an end- just because, for a moment, I wasn’t okay.

    Why is crying a sign of weakness?  More over, why is not being okay to point of tears, a sign of weakness?  Better yet, why do we wait until we are so not okay that we are brought to the point of uncontrollable tears, to admit that we are not okay- therefore weak?

    The strongest person you know is most often strong because they have to be and not because they want to be. Bearing the burden of living up to unrealistic standards (even those that are self-imposed) gets mighty heavy.

    Sometimes all you need is a moment of confession and an opportunity to lighten your emotional load, to make it to the next (moment.)

    Denying your true feelings doesn’t make you strong, it makes you heavy.

    If you are not okay, say so.  If you need to cry, cry.

    Your family won’t fall apart. Your life will still be intact. The world will not come to an end. And you will be okay.

     

     

    Until next time, Love...


    "Pursue something you freaking love!

    And the process that it will take you to get it, will be worth it."

    Monday
    Dec082014

    How To Plug Back In When You Feel Off

     

    For days, I walked around my house saying, something’s not right.

    I called my friend. She didn’t answer. So, I texted her and said, something’s not right.

    It’s happened before. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt a little off.  But, this time was different… I just couldn’t get back on.

    I sat down to write. Nothing came out.

    I missed a few events at my daughter’s school.

    I had a 2 week long headache.

    I just wasn’t myself. I mean, I was myself… but not my real self.

    You get it. Don’t you?

    I made a decision to do nothing. I wasn’t doing much of anything, right. So, why do anything at all?  Doing nothing didn’t last very long. There were only a few school events I could miss before being subjected to an interrogation, led by a 9 year old girl.

    I sat down at my desk, looked around as I gathered my thoughts, and reached for my journal. I flipped through until I found a blank page. Eureka! And a little sigh of relief. I was off because I wasn’t plugged in. I hadn’t written in my journal in weeks.  I hadn’t set my day up in an organized way… not in written form, anyway. I’m a write in down kind of girl. Things don’t last in my head for very long. I was entertaining conversations that I normally avoid. I was staying up too late. I wasn’t drinking enough water (hence the headaches.) I was trying to do too much at once.

    After getting back into my routine for a few days, I realized how necessary my staying plugged in is to the quality of my life. It took me years to figure out what works, and just a couple of weeks to sabotage it all.

    Sometimes you can get so busy that you forget to plug in to what keeps you grounded.  Just the slightest disconnect can cause you malfunction.  What good is doing, if you’re not doing what’s right?

     

    HOW TO PLUG BACK IN WHEN YOU FEEL OFF

    ::Go straight to your power source and get refueled. Go to God. Say a prayer for clarity and guidance, spend more time in quiet meditation, and wait… and when he speaks, listen. 

    ::Take notice of what’s different. A change in your schedule, a break from your routine, or a lack of attention to a valuable habit can stir you away from what works for you. Do what you always do- especially if what you do, works.

    ::Don’t ignore what you feel. If you feel like you’re doing too much, you probably are. If you feel like you’re not your normal self, you’re probably not. You know you better than anyone else. Respect what you feel, and do what it takes to feel better.

    ::Plug right back in. Give yourself a moment and then get yourself together. Don’t allow yourself to be disconnected for too long. The longer you wait, the harder it with be to regroup.

    ::Watch what you say. I can’t. I’m not. I don’t. I never… Those words often start the fire that fuels your disconnect. Words have power. Choose yours wisely. Remove negative language from your vocabulary. Say what you need to say to be great.

    ::Be mindful of who you let in. The people in your life can either push you closer to where you need to be or drive a wedge between you and your sacred space. Surround yourself with people who totally get you, find people who keep you fired up, and let those who don’t add to you go.

     

    When something’s not right and you feel off, don’t try to power through it. You’re running on empty.

    Plug back in to your source of power. Get fired up again.

     

    Until next time, Love...


    "Pursue something you freaking love!

    And the process that it will take you to get it, will be worth it."

    Tuesday
    Nov112014

    7 Ways To Tell If You're Sacrificing Or Settling

     

    Question:

    What makes you say settling is for suckers? Sometimes you have to make sacrifices that may not make you totally happy, but is the best thing when you consider the bigger picture.

      - Parker

     

    Answer:

    There is no joy in settling.

    You will spend the rest of your life wishing you would have made another choice, wondering what you should have done instead… and longing for what could have been something special, if only you had followed your heart.

    Settling is not an act of nobility.  Settling is an act of treason.

    When you settle, you betray your heart.  You forfeit your dream life.

    You stay, right where you are, instead of expanding.

    You being who you were created to be and not just some mediocre version of it, IS the bigger picture.

    I said all of this to say:

    Settling is for suckers!

    To do what it takes to create the life you want, to be who God created you to be (and nothing less) requires courage. Courage is something suckers lack.

    So Parker, it’s one thing to make sacrifices on your journey to a life you freaking love. But forfeiting that life, all together, for something you call the bigger picture is just plain ole’ settling. Know the difference.

    Have you been a sucker, lately?

     

    Are you excited to wake up to your life everyday?

    Does your life make you feel significant?

    If you could make your last 5 important decisions over again, would you happily make the same choices?

    Are you honest about how happy you really are, when discussing your life with friends and family?

    Would you want the people you care about the most, to make the same sacrifices you have made?

    If you answered “No” to any of those questions you’re probably settling for less that you really deserve.

     

    One final question:

    Do you feel like- at this moment in your life- you are at (or becoming) your best?

    If you answered “No” to that question, as well… then you may have sacrificed the most important thing, ever… YOU.

    I hope my answer and guided questions help Parker and you, settle less. 

     

    Until next time, Love...


    "Pursue something you freaking love!

    And, the process that it will take you to get it, will be worth it."