She said, how are you doing…really?
That was all it took for me to release what seemed like every tear I had in my body. They must have been stored away somewhere; because I had no idea where they came from and I couldn’t make them stop.
I don’t know why I’m crying, I said through gasps and shallow breaths.
You can cry. You don’t have to be strong.
I heard her, but I didn’t believe her. I thought yes, yes I do. I have to be strong. If I’m not strong, that means I’m weak. I can’t be weak. I don’t have time to be weak. But I felt so weak.
I’m a mother. Mothers can’t be weak.
I’m a wife. Wives can’t be weak.
But I felt so freaking weak.
I listened for a while, gained control of my tears, wiped my face, took a few deep breaths, and went on with my day. Just. Like. That.
I don’t know… confessing my weakness and unleashing my tears made me feel a little lighter that day.
-Weak (An excerpt from my upcoming book, I Hope This Helps)
My family didn’t fall apart. My life was still intact. The world didn’t come to an end- just because, for a moment, I wasn’t okay.
Why is crying a sign of weakness? More over, why is not being okay to point of tears, a sign of weakness? Better yet, why do we wait until we are so not okay that we are brought to the point of uncontrollable tears, to admit that we are not okay- therefore weak?
The strongest person you know is most often strong because they have to be and not because they want to be. Bearing the burden of living up to unrealistic standards (even those that are self-imposed) gets mighty heavy.
Sometimes all you need is a moment of confession and an opportunity to lighten your emotional load, to make it to the next (moment.)
Denying your true feelings doesn’t make you strong, it makes you heavy.
If you are not okay, say so. If you need to cry, cry.
Your family won’t fall apart. Your life will still be intact. The world will not come to an end. And you will be okay.
Until next time, Love...
"Pursue something you freaking love!
And the process that it will take you to get it, will be worth it."