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    song creator, inspirational writer/speaker, good food cooker, lipstick wearer… a girl from the projects who decided NOT to settle. I'm a believer- in God, in dreams, in love, and in hustle with heart. find out more about me here.

     


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    Tuesday
    May032016

    How To Handle Bad News (even if you're a drama queen)

     

     

    “Don’t nobody bring me no bad news.”

    - Diana Ross, The Wiz

     

    I wish I could hire someone to sing that song every time some bad news decides to swing my way.

     

    I know. It’s a part of life.

    Good and bad. Highs and lows. Comings and goings.

    Loss. Disappointment. Heartbreak. Failure…

    But, there comes a time in just about everyone’s life, when it seems like one more piece of bad news is going to end it all. Well, at least it seems that way if you’re a drama queen, like me (shout out to all the drama queens!)

    Bad news is bad, but it’s just news.  Once you step out of your dramatic scene, you will see that it doesn’t have to end it all, you can control how to lands in your space, and you can make what was once bad news, the best scene in the story of your life (keeping in line with that whole corny drama theme here, of course.)

     

    Here are 4 Things You Should Do When Bad News Comes Your Way:

    1. Take a minute. When bad news comes, it often hits pretty hard. Allow yourself a few moments to take it all in. If it hurts, be hurt. If it’s disappointing, be disappointed. If it’s the most devastating news of your life, allow yourself a moment of devastation. Acknowledge your true feelings so that you can begin the process of healing from them.

    2. Own your part in it (if there is any.) This is a twist on self-care. Loving yourself requires a great deal of self-awareness and personal responsibility. Much of the bad news you will experience will be outside of your control. And then… there’s the bad news that comes as a consequence of ignoring your intuition, lowering your standards, and rocking with the wrong people. Assess the situation and own your stuff. Ownership gives you power- power to call the shots, moving forward.

    3. Look for the lesson. That line is the biggest cliché ever. It’s also the biggest truth ever. There is and will always be a lesson. Look for that sucker and hold on to it for dear life. Don’t go through the bad and walk away empty handed. You’ve earned that lesson and trust me, you’ll need it. The next time you feel rejected, you’ll see that it’s protection (or redirection.) The next time you see things (and people) falling away, you’ll recognize that it’s a change in season. You’ll start seeing your mistakes as opportunities to grow. You’ll learn that the lesson that came in the form of bad news actually came to make you better.

    4. Make your next move. Being hit with bad news may cause you to pause, but it should render you motionless. Stay in motion. Ask yourself: what’s next? What should I do next? Where should I go next? Who should I connect with next? What is the next right action? Take some time here and really listen for the answer. Once, you’re clear, make your move.

     

    Keep living, Love.

    Bad news soon come- and when it does, you’ll handle it.

     

    Until next time, Love...

     

    "Pursue something you freaking love!

    And the process that it will take you to get it, will be worth it."

    Monday
    Apr112016

    Some Inevitables Of Life 

     Photo By: Kelley Raye

     

    You only get one (make it count.)

    You will love it. You will grow up and into your life in a way that makes you feel really good about it. Enjoy that moment, because… life.

    You will hate it. One day, you will look around and wonder what the heck happened. Be patient. It will pass.

    You will get it together. You always do.

    One day (or once a year) it will feel like it’s falling apart. Breakups, betrayals, disappointments, setbacks, loss, failure… all apart of life. Not the end of it. Grow through these moments, because…life.

    Some people won’t get it (the people who matter will.)

    Some people will try to control it. Don’t let them.

    Some people will walk out of it (the people who matter will stay.)

    It will be painful.

    It will be peaceful.

    One day it will all make sense, and you will be grateful for every moment of it.

     

     

    Until next time, Love...

     

    "Pursue something you freaking love!

    And the process that it will take you to get it, will be worth it."

    Tuesday
    Jan122016

    The Things We (Mommies and Creatives) Do For Purpose + Passion

     



    There is this thing we do sometimes.

    And by we, I mean my stay-at-home and/or work-at-home-mom friends and I.

    We were, during the BK days (BK = Before Kids,) professional somethings or anothers dominating the field of this or that, looking completely fabulous while doing it.

    With our manicured nails, flawlessly layered hair (or sharp bob if you’re like me,) brand new pencil skirts and designer pursues, we felt totally connected to who we really were, until someone mentioned the word purpose…  In an attempt to find greater purpose, we lost ourselves. 

    By we, I also mean my side-hustling-creative friends and I.

     We were aspiring somethings or anothers, living our lives. We worked hard to keep up with our routines, balance (or harmonize... if you’re like me) our personal and professional lives, and keep up with our schedules of being promoted by _______ and married by _______.

    We were good… until someone mentioned the word passion. In an attempt to live a passionate life, we became artists, started blogs, launched handcrafting businesses, let our hair go natural (giving up that bob was hard for me...) and somehow forgot what we were supposed to be doing and why.

    Now that you know who I mean by we, let’s address what we do.

     

    Overthink it.

    Sometimes we overthink what purpose is and what passion feels like. 

    We get so overwhelmed with purpose (the word) and so obsessed with passion (the word,) that we stay in this long drawn-out period of, well, overwhelm and obsession.

    Hey stay-at-home and/or work-at-home-mom friends! I see you (I am you…) doing your thing.  Daily you give of yourself in a way that fills your entire family up. If THAT makes you happy, that is your purpose- your reason for being you. Forget everything and everyone else that makes you forget that YOU wanted to be with your family in a way that mattered to you. Stop comparing yourself to who you used to be. Stop think about what everyone else is doing.

    Listen mommy, YOU will forever go down in history as one of the greatest contributors on earth.

    You make other humans. THAT is purposeful.

    To all of my side-hustling-creative friends I pose this question: Do you love it?

    Whatever you are pursuing creatively, is your heart it in? Can you feel it? Is it apart of the pulse of your life?

    Okay, that was more than one question. But, these questions are important. You will make things happen when you do it for the love. Stop obsessing over passion (the word) and be lead by passion (the feeling.) People who are in pursuit of passion are in pursuit of being moved, fired up, and totally plugged in. Love does that.

    If you are going to be obsessed with anything, be obsessed with what you love.

     

    You know the things we do for purpose and passion- things like getting lost, compare, forget what we love, become overwhelmed + obsessed, and overthink??

    Stop doing that.

     

     

     

    Until next time, Love...

     

    "Pursue something you freaking love!

    And the process that it will take you to get it, will be worth it."